Energy Drink Reviews

Power Trip 0 Energy Drink

Tue, 13 May 2008 14:48:16 EST

Price: 2.00
Size: 16.0oz.
Servings: 2.0
Calories (per serving): 5
Carbs (per serving): 0g
Sodium (per serving): 190mg

Active Ingredients
Well, there's no sugar and no carbs, they did sneak 5 calories per serving in there though. 210mg of caffeine in the can (which is pretty impressive btw), 2g of taurine, 76mg of glucuronolactone, 72mg of inositol, 46mg of guarana. Also, there are the following are % of USRDA per serving: Vitamin C 100%, B3 100%, B6 200%, B5 100%, B12 100%. Statistically, this drink is strong, and the only real drawback is the 190mg of sodium per serving (16% of your recommended daily sodium intake), which makes it taste good, but clearly makes it less refreshing, and is probably not ideal for your buhlud pressure.

Angie's Review
Power Trip "0" Sugar Free Energy Drink tastes awesome. This is, in my opinion the best tasting sugar free energy drink I've ever tasted. After a big gulp, it does have a little of that "ocean water up my nose" sodium burn, but the threat of shark attack is next to 0. It has a light and refreshing citrus flavor, the drink is a pleasant blueish color, which magically doesn't stain your teeth. Lastly, and most importantly, there's no artificial sweetener aftertaste. It performs well in the way of energy as well. I felt pretty good all the day long, without this elusive "crash" that I never experience with any energy drinks anyway. As is frequently the case, when I drink it on an empty stomach, my bowels are disturbed like eating a bag of Olestra Doritos. We acquired this drink for $2/each, but we've seen prices as low as $1.50 each when you Buy Power Trip at Amazon. I think it's well worth the $2 price, but is an exceptional value at $1.50.

Jason's Review
I saw the Power Trip Energy Drink Website on the can. Quite honestly, I usually never even look at the company's website. After reading this review, you'll see why. I was disappointed to see that, as do most companies that lack any creativity in their marketing department, they are plugging the drink, almost exclusively with a pretty face, and a partially exposed set of breasts. In fact, the front page of the website has only 2 grainy/illegible pictures of the can, and the only time Power Trip is even mentioned (most notably without even the mention of it being an "energy drink", merely a beverage) is in copyright/trademark information. The rest of the page is dedicated to Firefox (approximately 6% of the useable space), screen resolution information (approximately 3% of the useable space), completely unused real estate (60%+), and then about 30% for Olivia, who apparently is the official spokesmodel for "P.T." (I'm assuming I'm supposed to be intimately familiar enough with Power Trip to refer to it as "P.T."). Anyway, as opposed to joining the mailing list to win free product, I can enter to win a chance to talk to Olivia. I can imagine how that conversation would go. Olivia: "Is anyone there?" Some Dude: "Yeah...ur pretty. a/s/l?" Olivia: "Thanks" Some Dude: "Ur hair is pretty too." Olivia: "Well thanks again, what do you do?" Some Dude: "I ride motocross, and live off my inheritance. For fun, I rock climb, when I'm not illegal street racing. The rest of the time, I mostly party and dance at clubs, or on my yacht. What about u?" Olivia: "That sounds exciting. I'm an integral part of pushing P.T. out the door." Some Dude: "That's cool, I'm glad I'm not a model anymore ;)" Olivia: "You were a model?" Some Dude: "Mostly in Europe, u probably wouldn't have seen my stuff. That was a long time ago though, before I got that part in 'Braveheart'" Olivia: "Wow, you're an actor too? What is 'Braveheart'?" Some Dude: "The Mel Gibson movie?" Olivia: "Oh, is that the crazy old cult guy that married Joey from Dawson's Creek?" Some Dude: "No, that's Tom Cruise" Olivia: "Dawson's Creek was awesome, that was my favorite show when I was 9." Some Dude: "Hey, I've gtg, my 15 year old chat friend's parents just went out of town, and I need to ride over to her house, go inside with a bottle of wine, and make sure she's ok." Olivia: "TTYL xoxo" Some Dude: "Can I get ur number?" Ok, so despite the fact that Power Trip's marketing department is clearly the same group that promoted "The Adventures of Pluto Nash", the drink actually is awesome in all other respects, but you wouldn't know that from any of the marketing. Interestingly, a great deal of the website's main page (not the Olivia-saturated flash/no flash page, but the actual "content") touts Doug Stuart's wealth of "brand management" experience, and notes Pepsi and Canada Dry as his proving grounds. I think it's notable that neither of these companies has yet made any lasting or meaningful impact in the energy drink market. He does mention they are going to explore "packaging enhancements", looking at the cans, I probably would have done that before sending it out the door. After Doug's bio (which is clearly of paramount importance), they finally talk about the energy drink...for 2 full sentences. Lastly, Power Trip's website is one of the very aggravating ones that resizes your browser window from "maximized" to "very large but not maximized and slightly moved toward the bottom left" periodically when you click on certain links. As the Stig said, this drink is likely the best tasting sugar free energy drink on the market, but will you ever drink it? Probably not, because I just don't see it having shelf appeal. I'd equate this to Rush! Energy Lite, a great product, reasonable taste, no calories, and even low in sodium resulting in a thirst-quenching experience. Nearly 3 years ago, we touted it as such, but like Power Trip 0, the packaging is all wrong, everything about it looks gimmicky. Does it work? Absolutely, I think the ingredient specs look awesome, and it was so tasty, I guzzled it down in no time flat. I was energized, and I'd pit it against any other 16oz. drink on the market. The price is even acceptable. Would I buy it at the store? No. I'm just never going to walk to a refrigerator in a convenience store, pick this product up, and make my way to the counter. This is one of the few drinks, Nature's Nitro 2 Go, Jugular Energy Drink, ...Lost, and Who's Your Daddy Energy Drink being a few of the others, which I'm adversely affected in my decision-making to purchase because of the packaging.

5-Hour Energy Orange

Fri, 02 May 2008 16:53:32 EST

Price: 2.00
Size: 2.0oz.
Servings: 1.0
Calories (per serving): 4
Carbs (per serving): 0g
Sodium (per serving): 10mg

Active Ingredients
About as much caffeine as a cup of coffee, 30mg/150% of USRDA of Niacin (B3), 40mg/2000% of B6, 400mcg/100% of Folic Acid, 500mcg/8333% of B12. Also, unspecified amounts of Citicoline, Glucuronolactone, N-Acetyl L-Tyrosine, L-Phenylalanine, Taurine, Malic Acid. Also 1mg of the following enzymes: amylase, protease, lipase, cellulase, lactase.

Angie's Review
5-Hour Energy Orange has a great flavor (particularly compared to the original that we reviewed in 2005), goes down smoothly. I prefer it cold, but it's not unpalatable at room temperature. The Original 5-Hour Energy is our most commented drink on the site. There are a range of inputs of various topics either covered in the television commercials, or on the bottle. I decided to address those myself, since I've consumed a reasonable number of 5-Hour Energy Shots. Q. Does it provide 5 hours of energy? A. For me, the energy is not spastic, like I might get from drinking 2 Monster XXLs, but I feel relatively awake and alert, usually ready to accomplish something for several hours. Q. Does it cause you to crash later? A. I never have. Some people say, "after a while, I felt like I did before I drank it", well, that's not crashing, that's natural. A crash would be if you felt far worse than you did before. My best answer, I've never drank one in the morning, and felt any more inclined to take a nap at noon than I would any other time. Also, I can usually "come down" in plenty of time to get to sleep (assuming I drink it several hours before trying to sleep). Q. What is a Niacin Flush? A. Of the great number of 5-Hour Energy shots I've consumed, I've had 1 Niacin Flush, my skin (particularly my face, forearms, and hands) felt warm (like putting parts of your body into a warm bathtub), mildly tingly, and turned slightly red. As described on the bottle, this lasted for a few minutes, then I was fine. Others have described profound affects, even claim to have gone to the hospital. I don't know if these claims are valid, or if perhaps the people making the claims are trigger happy on calling an ambulance. I'd recommend trying part of a bottle the first time to see how you react. Q. Do you really need to "hold nose while drinking"? A. No, those comments by Angie were made about the Ver. 1.0 of 5-Hour Energy, and the new versions are not despicable tasting at all. Q. Is there a place I can get these for less than $2.49-$2.99 each? A. Absolutely, Buy 5 Hour Energy for less than $2 each (cases of 12 for $20) from many of the Amazon stores (this is the same as the link which you may or may not see above, depending on where you are viewing this review). Great taste, effective, no crash, and under $2, this is a good value as well.

Jason's Review
Of the "new and improved flavors" berry is still my least favorite, the orange is relatively superior to berry, and the lemon-lime is slightly better than the orange. This is, of course, a matter of taste, but I find them all relatively enjoyable. The bitterness of the original "Chaser" branded products is almost completely gone, and the remaining tartness is almost enjoyable, like a warhead candy. I'm energized, and can stand by all the claims that this product makes. I usually don't drink this on an empty stomach, and have never expected it to do anything unreasonable, like make me want to garden at 4AM after being awake for 47.5 hours. I only mention this, as it appears that some people do expect it to completely alleviate the need for sleep...ever. This is not true. When I use this product "reasonably", IE, I just woke up, only got 5 hours of sleep, and need to be awake and alert, I feel much better after drinking a 5 hour energy than I would otherwise. Also, if I got up early, and I need to stay awake until 2-3AM, and be relatively alert, again, this product helps. This is also true of On Go Energy, and likely of the host of new energy shots coming on the market, which we intend to review soon. The prices have come down significantly. Our first review was at $2.99, the second at $2.50, and at the time of this review, 5-Hour Energy can be acquired through the links on this site easily for $2 each; a great value, particularly if you use these regularly, and will invariably consume at least 12 of these in a month.

Monster Mixxd Energy Juice

Mon, 28 Apr 2008 14:57:14 EST

Price: 1.99
Size: 16.0oz.
Servings: 2.0
Calories (per serving): 110
Carbs (per serving): 27g
Sodium (per serving): 10mg

Active Ingredients
30% Juices, 27g of sugar per serving and the following g/percentage of daily allowance per serving: B2 1.7g, B3 20g/100%, B6 2mg/100%, B12 6mcg/100%, Calcium 20mg/100%, taurine 1g/less than 1% (I think this is the first time I've seen a recommended daily allowance for taurine), panax ginseng 200mg, "energy blend" 2500mg (claims to contain unspecified amounts of glucose, caffeine, guarana, l-carnitine, glucuronolactone, inositol, maltodextrin). 100% of daily allowance of calcium, impressive.

Angie's Review
Ok, before anyone else comments that all Monster energy drinks have the same proprietary energy blend, and such should all get equal energy ratings, let me clarify, for anyone who would not have determined this on their own, we are not scientist. We don't do a chemical breakdown on what's in the drink, and make a determination on how energized you should be after drinking it. We drink it, and offer a real-world report on how it works. Obviously, if it takes me 7 minutes to drink a pleasant tasting original Monster, and it takes me 4 hours to choke down a deplorable Monster Assault, I'm not going to be as profoundly affected by Monster Assault. That being said, the taste is the only pleasant thing about Monster Mixxd, and it's so syrupy, I felt nauseous if I tried to drink it too quickly. Monster indicates that the flavor is elusive because it's thousand, if not millions of different flavors jumbled together. Well, I've solved the mystery, it tastes like spiced apple cider with a hint of grape juice. It's pleasant, but I'm wanting to warm it up in grandma's kettle (that she gave me as a "parting for college" gift) and sip it next to the fire while opening Christmas presents. This is slightly more subdued than the wild house party mixer that Monster conveys in their can text. All told, I drank this over the course of two days. Near the end it became a chore. I'd compare this to eating a family-sized bag of gummy worms, they're enjoyable at first, but after a while, you realize you're only eating them because they're there, and you can't bring yourself to throw them away. For once, I think I found a drink that would be better distributed in 8.3oz cans. Everything else about this drink is ridiculous, the marketing is like talking to a 15 year old kid that heard some "buzzwords" and is trying to fabricate some story about this really cool party he went to, where he "got stupid crunk" and his story fades out into some incoherent mumbling about "Superman", where he hopes you'll chime in, and he can determine what he thinks he's talking about. I'm reminded of a wonderful bit in the "Powell Peralta Search for Animal Chin Video", watch in amazement.

Jason's Review
Why is this "the beginning of the end" for Monster, you say? Well, Mixxd is like a bad joke, couple that with another 4 new flavors, developed and distributed before a great deal of the populous really even noticed your last 4 existed, and you're looking at total market saturation, and product cannibalization. Though a large market for coffee drinkers still exists, instead of doing some marketing to stealing Starbuck's customers away with the four energizing, tasty, and affordable Java Monster products they already offer, Monster decided the flood the market with 4 more flavors. Worse yet, the website's marketing drivel is all "edgy" lingo that just sounds ridiculous. "Tea with sack not bags"? Is that supposed to be funny? Also, they hype adding "shots of liquor to Java Monster", then go right on to say they took out the alcohol, that's real edgy. It's as pathetic as the 35 year-old recently separated woman at work getting giddy because there's going to be a 2 drink open bar at the company Christmas party. Monster, after years of success otherwise, is going the way of marketing gimmicks, and as a result, are themselves opening the door for up-and-comers like Amp and Jolt. So, for those who are still with me, what do I think of Mixxd? Well, it�s a hodgepodge of flavors, and it's not that great. If you're looking for cheap "party drink" flavor, just add the Monster energy blend to Tahitian Treat and call it "James Cooks Tahitian Typhus". If You're Full Throttle, and you're batting this idea around, you can add some obscure Polynesian fruit, like noni, and expect the American palate will find it pleasing. Mixxd is drinkable, but by no means would I call it enjoyable. For $1.99, you can make a whole batch of actual jungle juice, and spread diseases amongst yourselves like 18th century Tahitian prostitutes. On a constructive note, I'd recommend staying away from any drink "mixxd" in a bathtub, and any party with sorostitutes. Don't say I didn't warn you.

Jolt Power Cola

Mon, 21 Apr 2008 13:48:17 EST

Price: 2.99
Size: 23.5oz.
Servings: 3.0
Calories (per serving): 100
Carbs (per serving): 26g
Sodium (per serving): 5mg

Active Ingredients
It's notable that this can contains 75g of sugar, which is roughly enough to put a dent in the annual Cuban sugar cane production. At 100 calories per serving though, Power Cola is actually 20 calories less per serving than Jolt Blue. Power Cola is also very low in sodium (5mg per serving). As the can states on the side, clearly Jolt Power Cola contains unspecified amounts of taurine, guarana, and ginseng, as well as 60% of the USRDA of Vitamin B6, and even 1g of protein.

Angie's Review
Sure, you're probably not going to find Jolt products in your local GNC, or any far off GNC for that matter, but what percentage of Americans have ever actually been in a GNC anyway? At the end of the day, let's admit that we all want to pretend to care about our sugar consumption, heart rate, blood pressure, blood/sugar levels, etc., but we all think we're invincible. It's just like barrel oil, noone really cares about conserving or dependence on foreign oil, they just want 1994 gas prices. By the same token, we only care about nutrition long enough to fit into some skanky pair of jeans, or to look cool at the gym drinking $4 workout water. Vanity is a powerful thing, thankfully, Jolt is equally as powerful, and it's like the Ford F350s of the world. Sure, you don�t want to pay for the gas to drive it cross country, but if you need a tree stump pulled out of the ground, a big block 454 relocated to the vicinity of your '77 AMC Matador Barcelona, or your trailer towed to a park with fewer pregnant transsexuals, you're happy it's there. On that note, sure, you wouldn't drink Jolt Power Cola in front of your trendy friends who only drink diet Vodka with Red Bull Sugar Free, but when you're all alone, and you can come to grips with the vast charade that is your entire life, you can pour a nice tall glass of Jolt Power Cola over ice, and thumb your nose at your rail thin, racehorse Charlie friends who wouldn't thumb their nose at anything, in fear that their crisscrossing noses may gush blood all over their Evisu Limited Edition Jeans. As for taste, if you like good ol' fashioned, kick-in-the-pants American cola, you'll love this as much as greasy American burgers, apple pie, and Dusty Rhodes. It's the ultimate in energy drink guilty pleasure. This drink is awesome, no ifs ands or buts. Jolt named it "Power Cola", but that may be an understatement.

Jason's Review
I'll start by making a couple of observations about this product. Firstly, the unique can allows for resealing without it going flat. So, unlike a 16oz can that goes flat after opening, you can actually enjoy three separate enjoyable approx. 8oz. servings without a severe decrease in quality of the cola (I know, as I resealed the cap on one, and enjoyed it further the following day). I know this dates me a little, but this can reminds me of the old glass 1 liter bottles that Coca Cola and Pepsi used to come in (yes, that's back in the '80's). Those bottles were nice because a family of 4 or so could have a whole bottle with dinner and the soda never went flat. In my opinion, that's where the 3 liter was essentially useless, unless you were bringing it to a family reunion or something. I digress, the can also makes me feel more inclined to drink some of the can out of a glass, and put the rest back in the fridge, meaning the drink is now cold, as well as not flat, for my later enjoyment. It also occurred to me that, though large, this drink would be great for taking on boats, to lawn concerts, race events, or any place where you could bring plastic cups, ice, and a cooler. Lastly, there are many energy drinks with a good flavor, but for people accustomed to drinking cola with lunch or dinner, I think you'll find this drink goes well with food. This tastes like cola, I'd like to add or take away from that statement, but it's exactly as it says on the can. Since it's Jolt, do you really have to question the amount of sugar or caffeine that lies in wait within? The price is reasonable as well, about $1 per Red Bull-sized serving, and 3 servings per portable vat of liquid energy. If you like Coca-Cola, and/or Pepsi, this is your energy drink, no more cotton candy (as apparently a great number of commenters feel all energy drinks taste like), citrus, or exotic fruit flavors to endure. Just classic cola flavor for people who didn't grow up loving the taste of acai, agave, or tamarind.

Coolah Energy

Sat, 05 Apr 2008 16:14:13 EST

Price: 1.99
Size: 16.0oz.
Servings: 2.0
Calories (per serving): 120
Carbs (per serving): 31g
Sodium (per serving): 40mg

Active Ingredients
Boronia is listed, but the Wikipedia page about Boronia doesn't mention it having anything to do with energy, and we all know that Wikipedia is essentially the authority on everything ever. There are also undisclosed amounts of taurine, caffeine, and calcium, and the following disclosed USRDA amounts per can: 40% Niacin, 100% B6, 100% B12, 50% Pantothenic Acid, Not a significant source of Patrick Swayze or Iron.

Angie's Review
Firstly, two of the best drinks on the market are 7up (which pwns Sprite), and Dr. Pepper (which is neck and neck with Mr. Pibb, but only one has a PhD.) I find 7up refreshing, and is great for making floats with lime sherbert. Before I get too sidetracked, this drink tastes awesome. It's refreshing, and possibly as enjoyable to drink on a hot sunny day while your pregnant wife mows the lawn as Inko's White Tea Energy. This drink has as much sugar (if not more) than most energy drinks, but this goes down far more smoothly, and is genuinely flavorful and refreshing without being overly tart or syrupy. If I were grading this on taste alone, I'd give it a 10, the flavor rest somewhere between Wink and 7up. Simply awesome. Finally, a new, inventive and enjoyable energy drink flavor. Now, the disappointing news, firstly, I find that it doesn't take that much energy to sing, paint or throw darts, for the average person. Unlike the residents of Coolah, I did no dancing or playing rugby (though I've never otherwise played rugby anyway). Perhaps the residents of Coolah play rugby, dance, paint, sing, and throw darts, not as a result of Solo, but because Coolah is otherwise as exciting as Henderson, NC. Perhaps with careful research Cadbury Schweppes would find that residents of Coolah, like those of Henderson, also gather together for Bingo at the VA, get a Dairy Queen, noodle for catfish, and stare ominously at people from out of town. There's a fine line between having energy, and being suicidally bored, after drinking Coolah, I certainly did not have a great deal more energy. This drink runs about $1.99, and for me, though it tastes great, I need something with a little more "Pep"...perhaps a Dr. Riffic.

Jason's Review
Paul Hogan might say, "That's not an energy drink...this is an energy drink." If he were referring to Coolah, he'd be wrong, this is a refreshing lemony beverage, but calling it an energy drink is a stretch. Then, who can trust someone who tried to squeeze a trilogy out of Crocodile Dundee? He might as well change his name to Stallone, and start work on a "Flipper" sequel. The can describes the taste perfectly, "Refreshing Lemon Tang". As stated previously, where the can description goes awry is at the "Energy" portion. Boronia could be Australian for "placebo" for all I know. I'd say sugar is the most active ingredient in this concoction. I'll take the Stig's word for it on price, I have no idea where this drink came from, or how much it costs. If it's $1.99, I think it's overpriced, but it does taste great.

Potencia Bebida de Energia

Mon, 31 Mar 2008 16:29:02 EST

Price: 1.99
Size: 16.0oz.
Servings: 2.0
Calories (per serving): 110
Carbs (per serving): 27g
Sodium (per serving): 25mg

Active Ingredients
Potencia Energy Drink contains the following mg and/or % of daily allowance per serving: Vitamins C 100%, Taurine 950mg, Caffeine 125mg, Guarana 30mg, Ginseng 50mg, Carnitine 15mg, Ginkgo 10mg, Niacin 15mg. I'd just like to say that this drink weighs in at 250mg of caffeine per can. I wish this drink were palatable, because at 125mg per 8 oz, that's higher than Rockstar Zero Carb, which is unreal. The energy blend is impressive.

Angie's Review
Firstly, I have no idea how prolific tamarind is in Central and South America. The can would lead me to believe it's as common an ingredient as saturated fat is in the US. My research indicates that the tree and its fruit are actually more common in Africa and Asia, usually used as a cooking spice, also an ingredient in Worcestershire sauce, and lastly to polish tarnished brass. The fruit is said to have a distinctively sour taste, I love sour, but that's not the flavor I get when drinking Potencia. In Potencia's defense, other popular drinks from Latin America contain other fruits that I don't like, but many Latin Americans love: Papaya, Mango, and Guava, for example. In all honesty, this was my first exposure to Tamarind (also apparently referred to as Tamarindo), so, unlike Latin Americans who may have grown up loving this, I found it unpalatable. I think I can most accurately describe the taste as the leftover water from stewing radishes and potatoes, mixed with the naturally bitter taste of caffeine. With more caffeine than $12 worth of Starbucks products, I can't argue with the ingredients. This drink looks solid, and I'd put it on par with any other drink that depends primarily on sugar and caffeine (which I believe should be the active ingredients in all energy drinks) to energize. I was never able to consume an entire Potencia Bebida de Energia. Not only did I not enjoy the taste, it made me feel sick to my stomach after about half a can. Since I never finished a Potencia, I didn't get to experience the profound affects of the copious amounts of caffeine. At $1.99, it's not bad, particularly if the can is right, and tamarind is something Latin Americans love, and assuming this tastes like tamarind (since I've never otherwise tasted it, except apparently in Worcestershire sauce).

Jason's Review
My experience with Potencia was somewhat drawn out, I consumed about 1/4 of the first one I opened. It tasted horrible, and I didn't want to finish it. While pouring it out, I realized the consistency changed as I reached the bottom. A light came on in my head that lead me to believe that this drink was not supposed to taste like blighted potatoes. So, despite the can not instructing me to shake (gently), I did just that with the next can, slowly turning it upside down/right side up. This changed the flavor, in my opinion, completely. The earthy flavor was almost completely gone, and now the drink tasted more like a lightly fruity ginger ale. I wouldn't drink it every day, but like Guarana flavored soda, I could see how it would grow on me, or be very pleasant to someone who is familiar with tamarind, and enjoys the taste. Interestingly, I actually like the taste more at room temperature than served iced cold. As the caffeine content listed should indicate, this drink is energizing. It is tops amongst the 16oz. drinks I've had. Unfortunately, even though the taste is ok, it's not particularly to my liking (not to say that someone from Colombia or Mexico wouldn't prefer this to any other flavor on the market). The price is reasonable, and right in line with other 16oz. drink offerings. As of the time we acquired this drink, it was not widely available, but if the taste is a hit with the Latin American community, I'd expect to see its popularity spread quickly.

Full Throttle Fury Orange Flavor

Wed, 26 Mar 2008 12:21:49 EST

Price: 1.99
Size: 16.0oz.
Servings: 1.0
Calories (per serving): 220
Carbs (per serving): 57g
Sodium (per serving): 160mg

Active Ingredients
57g of sugar in this can should get things moving. 100% of daily recommended allowance of Niacin, and 200% of both B6 and B12. Otherwise, unspecified amounts of caffeine, guarana, taurine, carnitine, ginseng, and sucrose.

Angie's Review
The first few sips of this drink were smooth. I felt like it was an energized version of Sunkist (circle R), or Orange Fanta (circle R). Based on my flavor enjoyment of NOS Grape(circle R), I was beginning to think that the most obviously overlooked energy drink flavors were the staple generic, mouth staining flavors that Faygo(circle R) and Shasta(circle R) have been peddling for years. Unfortunately, as I continued to drink, some of the repugnant qualities of Full Throttle Nature is One Bad Mother(circle R) started to shine through. The drink became less and less enjoyable through the nearly 4 hours it took me to consume the whole thing. Without question, the warmer it gets, the more sickening the flavor becomes. The initial taste is similar to Sunkist(circle R), but almost immediately after it goes down the hatch, the aftertaste starts to become evident, and it builds over time, like Indian curry dishes. I also didn't find this drink incredibly energizing. Of course, it took me about 1/4 of a waking day to consume it, so I'm nor sure expecting a profound affect is really fare. Since Blue Demon(circle R), it really just seems like Coca-Cola(circle R) isn't even trying anymore. The Original Full Throttle(circle R) was awesome, and the sugary version of the original Fury(circle R) (which we've yet to review because we're lazy), was also acceptable. I liked Blue Demon(circle R) originally, but I lost a taste for it over time. With these last two offerings (Nature is One Bad Mother(circle R), and Full Throttle Fury Orange Flavor(circle R)), it's like they're just trying to keep up with the number of drinks that Monster(circle R) has on the shelf. I feel they're seriously damaging the brand with these poorly contrived drinks. This drink costs $1.99, and I fully expect these to be accompanying Nature is One Bad Mother(circle R) on the $.25 rack at the dollar store.

Jason's Review
For a drink claiming to have 3g of energy blend, I have to wonder what percentage of that is useless, like Ginseng. I drank a few of these, on two occasions I wanted to take a nap within an hour of drinking it, and on one occasion I actually did take a nap (very restful sleep to boot). One day I painted the house after drinking one, but I think I drank an On Go Energy Shot earlier, which must have counteracted the sedentary affects of Full Throttle Fury Orange Flavor. Anyway, I know the numbers, if not sugar alone, indicate that this drink should be energizing, but I have to convey my findings, and my findings indicate that Full Throttle Fury Orange Flavor is secretly Nyquil. The taste is fine, it tingles a little going down, almost like it contains some mint, or suffers from the ongoing problem of orange drinks in an aluminum can tasting like aluminum. I can name at least 5 other drinks that you would find in any convenience store that I would buy before this drink for the same price/oz. FYI, those would be Monster Energy, Vault (which is actually less than half the price), Most of the other Full Throttle Flavors, Bookoo Bite, and NOS Grape. That's not including the myriad of energy shots that work much better than this drink (and all the On Go Energy flavors taste better). At the end of the day, this isn't a deplorable tasting beverage (which Nature is One Bad Mother is), but, like Julia Roberts "acting", there's not a lot to like about it. Sure, it's there, and it's not particularly hurting anyone (unlike Susan Sarandon's "acting"), but essentially it's wasted shelf space. If I worked at the Coca-Cola lab, I would have considered this an academic success, and probably determined that this is a step in the right direction, and with some refining, this could be a shelf-worthy product. Ultimately, I think the powers that be decided to phone it in, throw it out on the shelves and "see how it goes". After 70 years maybe they'll try making "New Full Throttle Fury Orange Flavor", which will be ever worse, then they'll go back to this formula.

Game Juice Impact

Tue, 18 Mar 2008 15:10:15 EST

Price: 2.33
Size: 16.9oz.
Servings: 2.0
Calories (per serving): 112
Carbs (per serving): 29g
Sodium (per serving): 27mg

Active Ingredients
Game Juice appears to be fueled by some undisclosed amount of flavor (not sure how flavor powers anything, but I digress), real sugar, taurine, and caffeine. Though we don't have any "standard measurement" figures for how much it contains, we do have the universal measurement of blocks, of which this drink contains 5 block units of each of the aforementioned.

Angie's Review
Firstly, Game Juice is super sweet and made me sick to my stomach. It's overtly sweet, and I would compare the abdominal sensation to drinking a 16oz. Mello Yello followed by a 16oz. bottle of the now defunct Surge. Interestingly, if you are an enormous Mountain Dew Amp, Surge, or Mello Yello fan, you'd probably like Game Juice Impact. A more accurate description, for someone who's lived under a rock, and has no idea what a overtly sugary citrus soft drink tastes like, is that Game Juice Impact tastes like about 22 sour apple and lemon Jolly Rancher candies dissolved in a glass of slightly sweetened carbonated water. Apparently, at some point, you also add 5 blocks of caffeine, and taurine. Otherwise, I like that this is marketed toward gamers. I fancy myself a gamer, having scored 129,310 in Double Dragon, 132,760 on Hudson's Adventure Island, and 316,550 in 3-D WorldRunner. But the really defining moment of my life was beating Blaster Master (with only one man), trumped only by a unprecedented trouncing of Super Mario Bros. 2 in 28 minutes. At $2.33 (after shipping), this drink is not particularly a fantastic deal. Other than letting women around me know that I'm l337 and have mad 5k111Z, this drink is essentially useless to me. I'd write more, but I think I hear Deadly Towers calling.

Jason's Review
This isn't my favorite, and it's certainly not the worst I've had either. As far as gaming sodas go, I wouldn't begin to compare it to Bawls Guarana, but it's better than being a poser with Mountain Dew. Game Juice Impact commands about as much respect in the g4M3R community as: Mountain Breeze, Mountain Frost, Mountain Fury, Mountain Holler, Mountain Lightning, Mountain Lion, Mountain Maze, or Mountain Roar. Since all the aforementioned are blatant knockoffs of Mountain Dew, Game Juice Impact can only improve its rep by changing its name to Mountain Juice, which doesn't sound particularly appetizing, or Mountain Impact, which doesn't sound incredibly comfortable. The drink is too flavor filled, even for me, and I love Carabao Energy Drink, which is essentially sugar paste. The drink tries hard, and has some redeeming qualities. For people who do like citrus sodas, I don't see the majority of them complaining about the flavor. I did feel relatively jacked after drinking it, probably in the ballpark equivalent of drinking a Jolt Cola. On the downside, the drink itself bears a strong visual resemblance to Hi-C Ecto Cooler, and the label came out looking way to much like the Beta box for Fred Savage's claim-to-fame "The Wizard", a Nintendo-based fantasy loosely akin in format and length to a watchable movie. This leaves Game Juice feeling more like an attempt to recapture an 80's-early 90's Nintendo market (the way Powell Peralta has attempted to recapture the 80's skate market with overpriced "vintage" Bones Brigade schwag sold in lavish department stores), instead of focusing on today's predominantly MMORPG and first-person-shooter gamers. Perhaps a scantily clad night elf dancing on a mailbox asking for gold, or a set of hands grasping a crowbar or chainsaw whilst sneaking up behind a camping n00b would have been more appropriate. Personally, I would have just tried to buy the name "Ecto Cooler" from Hi-C and started a marketing blitz with Ray Parker Jr., Huey Lewis and The News all forming together like an enormous Ecto-Cooler-spraying Voltron.

Java Monster Coffee Energy Lo-Ball

Tue, 11 Mar 2008 16:10:41 EST

Price: 1.99
Size: 15.0oz.
Servings: 2.0
Calories (per serving): 50
Carbs (per serving): 6g
Sodium (per serving): 230mg

Active Ingredients
Here's the breakdown of mg and/or % of daily allowance per serving: Calcium 90mg/10%, Vitamin C 30mg/50%, Vitamin D IU (international units, not sure why they measured it in that standard)/5%, Potassium 60mg/2%, B2 1.7mg/100%, B3 20mg/100%, B6 2mg/100%, B12 6mcg/100%, Phosphorus 60mg/5%, Taurine 1g, Panax Ginseng 200mg. Otherwise undisclosed amounts of L-Carnitine, Glucose, Caffeine, Guarana, Inositol, Glucuronolactone, Maltodextrin.

Angie's Review
Firstly, let me say, you may not have seen this drink in stores. I've only seen it in one, and they appear to be lucky enough to get a regular supply. This flavor is not even featured on their website. That being said, you should be looking for it. Essentially, take the Java Monster Coffee Energy Mean Bean, cut the calories per serving in half, barely alter the flavor, and put it within reach of my greedy little hands for $1.99, and it's on like neck bone. I'd equate Java Monster Coffee Energy Lo-Ball to a magic Meatlovers Pizza Hut Pan Pizza that magically is 200 calories per slice. I was going to equate it to Dragonforce "Through the Fire and the Flames", but there's not really even a magical way to reduce its caloric value, so we'll have to say Dragonforce is like the other three Java Monster flavors. It goes down smoothly, and if I were given a blind taste test, firstly, I'd be concerned as to why I couldn't see, if that fear subsided, I'd have a hard time identifying which of the Java Monster flavors is "lo-cal", unless the conductor of the study handed it to me and muttered, "This isn't the lo-cal one" while snickering uncontrollably. Essentially, I think it tastes like a cold, scrumptious coffee drink with a hint of caramel that goes down smoothly and refreshingly. With this drink available (at least to me) at $1.99, it's an exceptional value, and possibly even rivals the original Monster offerings in its value proposition.

Jason's Review
I've found in life that I'm not right about a great deal of things, but one thing I can say with great confidence that I was right about is the success of Monster. Think Red Bull still runs the show? You've been living under a rock since about 2004. Check the numbers, Red Bull didn't make a 12 oz. (became available about 2 years ago) version and 16 oz. version (late 2007) because they thought it was a brilliant industry-leading idea. No, they lowered their heads in shame, and followed Monster's lead (which they should have done 5 years ago before they started losing mad market share to Monster). Here's another question, how long are Coca-Cola and Pepsi going to continue to sit in the corner with their thumbs in their boots while Monster continues to grow an enormous, industry controlling brand? Coca-Cola has at least made a reasonable attempt to throw a hat in the arena with the Full Throttle Series, and Pepsi is trying to throw money at the problem by parading Dale Earnhardt Jr. around in a Mountain Dew AMP car, and haphazardly promoting Pepsi Max as an energy drinkish thing. Both efforts have resulted in an otherwise non-convenience-store-centric natural beverage company, who's 1997 mission statement was to "develop and market a unique full line of high quality pasteurized juices and refreshing soft drinks made "The Natural Way" ... without preservatives, caffeine, sodium, refined sugar, artificial flavors or colors" making a product, that goes completely against their mission statement, which has utterly annihilated the efforts of the aforementioned market savvy industry giants. Interestingly, I assume in an attempt to save face on their mission statement, Hansen's Natural Beverage, has never been very open about being associated with Monster Energy, ...Lost Energy, Rumba, or Joker Mad Energy. Only using their website to tout their Hansen's Natural Energy, which we've never even bothered to review. Though I will admit the rate at which Monster is putting out new flavors smells of cannibalizing their own market, I've yet to be disappointed with any of their recent offerings. On a positive marketing note, it also appears that Monster has, for the most part, stopped using scantily clad skanks in their ad campaign (which real investors consider a cheap marketing ploy, and demonstrates an otherwise weak product development, advertising and distribution agenda). So, where am I going with this? We've established that Hansen Beverage company has successfully infertilized the efforts of Coke and Pepsi to get a foothold in a sector within their own industry; a sector which is essentially still based on sugar and caffeine water. So, what does Java Monster have to do with this? Enter Starbucks, who, in my opinion, might as well be collecting their less desirable bottled coffee beverages from convenience store and grocery store shelves, because, much like Red Bull, their offering is inferior in every way. Starbucks beverages are smaller, less energizing, more expensive, and with the introduction of Lo-Ball not even in the same ballpark when it comes to calories (Even Starbucks' Mocha Lite contains 100 calories in 9.5oz. compared to Monster Lo-Ball's 15oz offering for the same 100 calories. FYI, the Caramel Starbucks bottled Frappuccino has 200 calories per 9.5oz.). With the exception of the Strawberry Cr�me, and Vanilla, Monster also offers a comparable array of flavors as well. If you haven't surmised already, I love Lo-Ball. At first, I was slightly concerned, because it burned when I peed after I drank the first one, but I had a second the next day and determined that the burning sensation (and itching) was likely related to another, unrelated incident. I've since had no reoccurrence of painful urination in and around the time I've consumed a Java Monster Lo-Ball. The taste is past pleasant, it's goes down smooth with little or no artificial sweetener aftertaste. It also seems equally as creamy tasting as the other Java Monster offerings, but not as thick/dense, which makes it feel less heavy going down. As for energy, after one night with 4 hours of sleep, and a second night with 5.5 hours of sleep, I was able to function normally while negotiating important legal and financial documents without fatigue. At $1.99, buy one, they might as well be giving it away. Speaking of buying something, here's a word of advice to Coke and Pepsi, buy the Monster brand and save yourself further embarrassment. Seriously, you guys are getting pwned like Paypal pwned Western Union.

NOS Grape High Performance Energy

Thu, 06 Mar 2008 20:18:05 EST

Price: 1.99
Size: 16.0oz.
Servings: 2.0
Calories (per serving): 110
Carbs (per serving): 28g
Sodium (per serving): 115mg

Active Ingredients
We established early on that this contains taurine. Here's the breakdown of mg and/or % of daily allowance per serving: 28g/9% of carbohydrates, 27g of sugar, 2mg/100% of B6, 6mcg/100% of B12, taurine 1g (1000mg), L-Carnitine 200mg, caffeine 125,g, Inositol 100mg, panax ginseng extract 50mg.

Angie's Review
For an energy drink reviewer that goes by the assumed name "The Stig", one might think I know something about cars, or was predisposed to know that NOS had anything to do with cars. With some help from Youtube and Paul Walker, I got the following 41 second crash course in NOS. Ok, so apparently drinking NOS makes your car go faster. I'm also grateful to know that if I'm not careful, I run the risk of blowing myself up with NOS. It's interesting that the can doesn't even contain the, "Warning contents under pressure may explode" warning. Paul Walker is like the modern day GI Joe. With the battle half fought, I was ready to taste the grape rush, and was I ever impressed. It was awesome, I was refreshed, and the taste was amazing. Thirst quenching and enjoyable, and somehow, my teeth were not even stained obnoxious purple. Fortunately, even with my heavy foot, I did not blow myself up. With the great taste, I guzzled this beverage down fast. I looked like Takeru Kobayashi. Despite the ferocity with which I drank the NOS, my 1989 Mercury Grand Marquis still topped out at well below 140 mph. I was so pumped though, I wanted to jam my feet through the floorboard and NOS it up the Fred Flintstone way. My conclusion, NOS High Performance Energy Drink does nothing to make your car go faster, but it will give mere mortals and Paul Walker more energy. This drink is $1.99, with a great taste, and a notable energy boost this drink is a good value. I'd also recommend keeping a video camera handy, with the risk of blowing up, your friends could make your death the next Diet Coke and Mentos craze. Of course, Mythbusters (or Al Gore) will probably try to take credit for that too.

Jason's Review
I can imagine the question arising, "Why not review the original NOS? That stuff's been around for years." Admittedly, it's a fine question, I'd have to estimate that I "enjoyed" the original NOS (which I think they touted as "High Octane Energy Fuel", which would in the most technical sense of the term, be false advertising). I actually still have a can of the very original (likely circa 2004) in my collection. Having skirted the issue long enough, here's my answer to your original dumb question, it was so bad, I couldn't write a review for it. I sincerely believed that I had so many bad things to say about the original NOS that someone involved in formulating, producing, packaging, or distributing the contents of that sullied aluminum can might actually kill themselves to appease the enraged masses. So, I took the remaining NOS and tucked them away in a place I thought would be safe, squirreling them away in case I ever had to use them as chemical weapons against those dirty commies, like in Red Dawn. Mmmm Deer Blood Energy Drink, now there's an idea. Anyway, so there's the exposition, and the prelude to why I approached the NOS Grape High Performance Energy Drink with extreme caution, constantly checking to see if the commies were onto my scheme, and beating me to the punch. I opened the can, and declared immediate and comprehensive redemption to the NOS brand, acquitting them of all crimes against humanity for unleashing the original NOS on unsuspecting 13 year old "Fast and the Furious" fans. This drink tastes awesome, I don't even care that I look like a colossal tool carrying it around (with a taste this good, I won't be carrying it long anyway). NOS Grape got me pretty jacked up too. I thinking drinking it quickly had a lot to do with the profound affect, but again, it helps when it doesn't taste like Full Throttle Nature is One Bad Mother and you don't have to force it down. Around $2, this drink offers everything I'd expect at that price, and an excellent taste to boot.