Steven Seagal's Lightning Bolt Cherry Charge Energy Drink

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Steven Seagal's Lightning Bolt Cherry Charge Energy Drink review added 2007-08-23 23:45:35
Purchase Price for This Review: $0.89
Available at: Walmart near South Carolina

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Nutrition Information:
Size: 16.0oz. · Serving Size: 8oz. Calories: 120 · Carbs: 30g · Sodium: 0mg

Ratings:
Combined Reviewer Rating: 1 out of 10
User Rating:  Rate this beverage:
4.43 out of 10 from 111 reviewers


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Can Text:

After the name, was there any more room for text? Seriously, it says pretty much the same thing as Steven Seagal's Lightning Bolt Asian Experience Energy Drink.


Active Ingredients *Per can, not per serving:
Cordyceps (oh good, I love parasites in my drink), B-Vitamins, Ginseng, Goji berry (in the family Solanaceae, which also includes deadly nightshade, and tobacco), and guarana. Mmmmm, this sounds appetizing.

Also, there's natural caffeine, as opposed to synthetic caffeine.

On a positive note (the only one), it's got no sodium. Then again, maybe that's what it's missing to keep it from tasting like rot and death.

Angie's Review: Reviews posted after May 2007 are written by a guest reviewer referred to from this point forward as "The Stig".
"It's made with lighting, real lightning". Anyway, it also contains whatever Oingo Boingo contained that made them suck so bad. There's only one ingredient that could make something so detestable. I don't think it's been identified yet, but researchers are investigating The Insane Clown Posse to see if they can isolate the gay gene and this teh ultimate suck. I would tell you what this drink tastes like, but I could hardly get it past my nose before my gag reflex kicked in. What I did taste was something like motor oil, syrup of ipecac, and cherry robitussin that went bad.

Apparently super ninjas like Steven Seagal don't have taste buds, and if they formulate an energy drink they need only concern themselves with how cool they look in their "Mortal Kombat Toasty" cameo appearance in the corner of the can. Despite my pressing the "start" button, I was not transported to a new arena to face smoke.

I can only say two positive things about this drink. It did not kill me, then again, I drank next to none of it, and it didn't come with an Insane Clown Posse CD, iTunes gift card to download ICP tracks, or free ICP ringtones and screensavers. Where's the Faygo?

Angie Energy Rating: 1
Angie Taste Rating: 1
Angie Value Rating: 1

Jason's Review:
I too was not man enough to drink this entire "beverage". I'd imagine Vitameatavegamin tastes a lot like Stephen Seagal's drinks. While I was drinking it, I was looking for hidden cameras; this was clearly a bad joke. Surely nothing that tastes this bad can be used for anything other than killing rats. The word "repugnant" comes off as a compliment when describing how rancid this drink is.

Assuming I've made it abundantly clear that the taste is horrible, I have no idea if it's energizing. Since I'd rather strip the skin off my face with a soup ladle than to ever attempt to raise this product to my face again, I'll never know if it's energizing. I'm going to fairly give it a poor energy score, since being drinkable should be a requirement of any beverage.

By the same token, it's also getting a horrible value rating. Your friends should pay you to drink this, like when you drank that bottle of Tabasco at the local Steak and Shake, trying to impress that girl (errr guy maybe?) your friend picked up at that dive with no walls separating the sit down toilet stalls in the women's bathroom. I mean, who voted we go see 4 non-blondes anyway, and what were you doing in the women's bathroom?


Jason Energy Rating: 1
Jason Taste Rating: 1
Jason Value Rating: 1

Other Steven Seagal's Lightning Bolt Products

Steven Seagal's Lightning Bolt Asian Experience Energy Drink
Steven Seagal's Lightning Bolt Cherry Charge Energy Drink

There Are No Steven Seagal's Lightning Bolt Cherry Charge Energy Drink Videos or Commercials

Steven Seagal's Lightning Bolt Cherry Charge Energy Drink User Comments


les on 2009-08-26 09:24:54 said:
honestly ... i bought one of each flavor of Steven Seagal Energy Drink at big lots.. tried it warm right after leaving... i thought it was gross... dumped it out and saved the cans for my collection ( i've had over 275 energy sodas .. that i saved the cans from.. tasted over 400 easily) i fridged the cherry version and tried it the next day. cold these are awesome. i went back and bought all they had left ... for the price it's perfect. everyone i work with enjoyed it as well... my girlfriend agrees with everyone here... "gasoline. fish blood and sugar" i think its great. but i dont care for Steven Seagal.

Johnny S.R. on 2009-07-01 11:30:40 said:
Upon quenching my thirst with Steven Seagal I found my mouth reacting the same way it did when i first bit into tin foil. I will Never be the same again.

DanDan on 2009-04-06 12:57:41 said:
I like this drink! Both flaviors. I've tried many different energy drinks and I want something with NO caffeine, or a naturally occurring type caffeine. These drinks are also great mixers with vodka, whiskey, and rum, and, I get the smooth energy rush. OK, so when I drink this stuff, play me a game of foosball, and good luck trying to win...GOOD STUFF Edited by Jason: Steven Seagal? Is that you?

Snee on 2009-01-28 11:06:33 said:
There aren't words to describe how disgusting Steven Seagal Cherry Charge is. So I'll stop here.

camj80 on 2008-03-30 23:06:51 said:
i just bought it to show my friend that steven seagal actually had an energy drink.I had 1 sip and down the drain it went. I dont know what was worse watching the glimmer man or this.

Ballin fool on 2008-02-29 11:39:57 said:
dont drink Steven Seagal in school it makes you have to poo so bad its not funny. 1 out of 10

BobMarley on 2008-02-13 10:59:06 said:
Chuck Norris would kick Steven Seagal's arse.

Millertime on 2008-01-29 08:51:52 said:
These comments, (and reviews), are just TOO funny! Not to hop on the bandwagon at all, but SERIUOSLY, this drink "Asian/gag reflex experience" was BY FAR the worst ED I have ever had the displeasure of subjecting my taste buds to. It was so bad I literally forced myself to drink almost half (W00t) of the can, but as mentioned before by anyone brave/foolish enough to attempt to sample this, SAVE YOUR $$; at least throw the $2.50 in the trash or on the ground; At least you won't feel as if you wasted your money!

Stafford on 2008-01-12 01:17:40 said:
I bought this drink because I couldn't believe that Steven Seagal's face was on an energy drink can. The drink was one of the most revolting things I've ever tasted. It was like somebody mixed juice, gasoline, and sin all together to sell to unsuspecting consumers.

jeff on 2008-01-09 14:18:43 said:
I have this drink in my hand right now. It is in a tie with a spicy tomato sauce energy drink i accidentally bought from a local big lots. I Drank maybe a teaspoon worth thinking this might be tasty cherry charge. It hit my tongue and like a reflex my hand flew away from the face. Its like instead of creating a drink people would like they did their darndest to make a drink as foul tasting as possible. I guess to remind people this drink taste about as good as the actor on it can act. I keep looking at the can thinking i should give it another try but its haunting my dreams already i don't know if i can handle it. Has anyone gotten through an entire can let alone more than 3 sips?

Matt on 2007-12-08 18:51:42 said:
In response to Keith (the comment above), you should note that the reviewers made it very clear that describing the taste as "repugnant" was a compliment. While Steven Seagal is amusing, I believe the reviewers gave very legitimate reasons why, after drinking hundreds of other energy drinks, these two Steven Seagal drinks are notably bad, independent of Steven Seagal's poor acting.

Keith on 2007-12-08 12:20:34 said:
Please note that not one of these energy drink reviews about the Steven Seagal's Lightning Bolt has been about the actual energy drink. Only about the dislike of the man and his personal life issues. This is a review about energy drinks, so stick to it then! I have personally tried well over 50 different energy drinks as far back as the very first Red Bull made in Thailand and Austria. I honestly have to say that after trying Steven Seagal's Lighting Bolt I really liked it better than most. Not to mention the price is convenient when all others are overly priced for pure sugar water.

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Disclaimer: The above review is the opinion of the Screaming Energy Drink Reviews editors. Our goal is to help answer questions like, "What does Steven Seagal's Lightning Bolt Cherry Charge Energy Drink taste like?", "Does it really give you an energy boost?", "Where can I buy Steven Seagal's Lightning Bolt Cherry Charge Energy Drink?", and "How much does it cost?". We are not employed by the makers of this energy drink, and, therefore cannot answer questions about production, distribution, product returns, reimbursements, or quality control. We receive funds from some manufacturers to expedite reviews, and for advertisement only. We do not 'sell' positive reviews. All nuitrition information and ingredients were copied to the best of our ability from the product packaging, do not rely solely on our site for dietary information.
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