Energy Drink Added 2007-04-08 21:30:49

Kronik Entourage Review

Price: $1.99
Available at: Gas Station
Nutrition Information:
Size: 16.0oz. · Serving Size: 8oz. Calories: 140 · Carbs: 33g · Sodium: 20mg

Ratings:
Combined Reviewer Rating:

2.5 out of 10 4.12 out of 10 from 34 reviewers

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Can Text:

Kronik entourage totes the same neat graphics as Kronik has in the past with some added orange to indicate the juice flavor. Lightning bolts and barbed wire cover the can along with a caution: This Don't Grow on Trees.

Active Ingredients *Per can, not per serving:
Taurine, ginseng, niacin, lots of B vitamins as well as glucosamine which is interesting because in the past I've only seen it in joint relief vitamins.

Angie's Review: Reviews posted after May 2007 are written by a guest reviewer referred to from this point forward as "The Stig".
Kronik has come up with a new flavor to add to my ever growing list of nasty tasting things, right in between brussels sprouts and mayonaise. Which sounds bad, but in my opinion is still better than Red Bull who hasn't made anything new, ever. Kronik has brought us Entourage, a brand new juice based energy drink with 80% juice. Though the type of juice isn't really mentioned, I'm guessing by the flavor that it's a mix of orange and puke, making the other 20% most likely artificial sweetener. Kronik has been a series of rebellious teen focused slogans pooled together to make absolutely no sense whatsoever. After all what does Entourage mean when applied to an energy drink?

I certainly had a hard time finishing this drink. It didn't go down smoothly and it tasted horrible. I'd much rather eat liver and onions than have to endure another can of this drink, at least that would have gotten rid of the vomit like aftertaste. The only energy I experienced was the wrenching in my stomach which started about halfway through the drink and got worse as I barely managed to finish the can. Needless to say it will receive low marks in all categories. If this was being sold for a penny I'd call it overpriced.

Angie Energy Rating:

2
Angie Taste Rating:

2
Angie Value Rating:

1

Jason's Review:
I rather liked Kronik Grind, though Angie loathed it. I was mixed going into this, having, for the most part, disliked anything involving real juice and an aluminum can. It didn't help that I don't like the Hyundai minivan, the Microsoft Outlook Express knockoff (worse still since it was for a Mac), or the HBO series all with the same name. That being said, an energy drink called "Caravan", "Pine", or "Band of Brothers" wouldn't resolve the ongoing problem that acidic fruit jammed in a can makes it taste like wall socket. Now that I can't think of anything else, the most fitting minivan, email client, and HBO series names for energy drinks would be, "Quest", "Thunderbird", and "Big Love" respectively.

The taste is really bad. Alune be praised that they decided to carbonate this stuff (which already puts it ahead of most real citrus drinks in my book). I think I would have otherwise instantly vomited from the dreadful flavor. I compare the experience to watching any "Aqua Teen Hunger Force" from the last two seasons. More specifically the debacle of a 30 minute episode they made. In fact, I’m not sure if Kronik Entourage is even that bad. Frequent readers should find it no surprise that I dislike the taste of an 80% or so citrus fruit drink. For first timers, check out Rumba, Omega, and Monster Khaos, they all tasted like what I imagine battery acid to taste like.

As with some of the others, if you can choke this stuff down, the energy is pretty good. Maybe it's that my body wants more fruit, and fewer Moon Pies, but once it's in, and the in-flight sickness goes away, the body is pretty happy it's in there. Perhaps a home IV kit to get this stuff directly into the bloodstream would suit me better.

At a $1.99, I'd rather pay a person of lesser stature at the carnival to kick me in the junk. Having paid a dollar to talk to the aforementioned while she tried to watch "Friends" in her mini trailer, I think I could probably talk her into a kick in the change purse for another $.99.

The moral of the story, real citrus energy drinks suck, Aqua Teens haven't been funny in years, and I speculate a carnie will Rouchambeau you for $.99.

Jason Energy Rating:

6
Jason Taste Rating:

1
Jason Value Rating:

Other Kronik Products

Kronik Energy
Kronik Energy Low-Carb
Kronik Grind Fearless Energy Supplement
Kronik Entourage

User Comments

Terre Novell on 2008-01-31 14:25:34 said:
This is too sweet and should only be served to those who want a common sugar buzz.

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Disclaimer: The above review is the opinion of the Screaming Energy Drink Reviews editors. Our goal is to help answer questions like, "What does Kronik Entourage taste like?", "Does it really give you an energy boost?", "Where can I buy Kronik Entourage?", and "How much does it cost?". We are not employed by the makers of this energy drink, and, therefore cannot answer questions about production, distribution, product returns, reimbursements, or quality control. All nuitrition information and ingredients were copied to the best of our ability from the product packaging, do not rely solely on our site for dietary information.