Steven Seagal's Lightning Bolt Asian Experience Energy Drink
Steven Seagal's Lightning Bolt Asian Experience Energy Drink review added 2007-02-07 22:04:16
Purchase Price for This Review: $0.89
Available at: Walmart Superstore
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Nutrition Information:
Size: 16.0oz. · Serving Size: 8oz. Calories: 120 · Carbs: 30g · Sodium: 0mg
Ratings:
Combined Reviewer Rating:
1 out of 10
5.14 out of 10 from 225 reviewersAdd Your Thoughts on this Energy Drink
Can Text:
Steven, in all his humility opted to not appear on the can, instead, Butch Patrick is featured in his Eddie Munster attire, with some rambling about natural botanicals, and Steven Seagal's signature. This makes sense, since Herman Munster required lightning to be awakened from the dead.
Somehow the full name of this drink requires 8 english words, but only one Japanese character. Apparently "Steven Seagal's Lightning Bolt Asian Experience Energy Drink" merits its own character in the Japanese alphabet.
Otherwise, the can is blue, black and gold, and makes me want to watch "Karate Kid".
The can states that "This long lasting energy elixir is made with ingredients from all over the globe" (I think some of the ingredients went bad in transit) "Sweetened with all natural imported organic evaporated cane juice crystals" (If by "cane juice crystals" you mean "rat feces")
Active Ingredients *Per can, not per serving:
Cordyceps (oh good, I love parasites in my drink), B-Vitamins, Ginseng, Goji berry (in the family Solanaceae, which also includes deadly nightshade, and tobacco), and guarana. Mmmmm, this sounds appetizing.
Also, there's natural caffeine, as opposed to synthetic caffeine.
On a positive note (the only one), it's got no sodium. Then again, maybe that's what it's missing to keep it from tasting like rot and death.
Angie's Review: Reviews posted after May 2007 are written by a guest reviewer referred to from this point forward as "The Stig".
Over the course of the day, I force-fed myself Steven Seagal's Lightning Bolt Asian Experience Energy Drink, in a Genpuku-like right of passage, which Tom Cruise would know nothing about, and Steven would back me up on that. When it was over, I would have preferred some ritualistic scarification, or being tossed to the crocodiles.
I'm sorry, was I saying something? I drifted off there for a minute. Apparently cordyceps are draining all my energy.
The only value I can place on this drink is its novelty and humor value. Both of which could be easily eclipsed with a Chuck Norris, Jean-Claude Van Damme, or Susan Sarandon energy drink.
Angie Energy Rating:
2Angie Taste Rating:
1Angie Value Rating:
1Jason's Review:
Thanks to Steven Seagal, I had to extend the name field in my database to fit his verbose energy drink name.
This drink is everything I expected from the great actor, writer, director, musician, theologian, sex symbol, and father to many Steven Seagal. Like molasses and dishwater, this drink neither satisfies the taste buds, nor the nostrils in the process of being choked down. Of 99 energy drinks reviewed, and probably 200 assorted flavors sampled, this is, to my knowledge, the first energy drink I did not finish. I even tried the Kobayashi shake, but nothing was keeping this down. I was as nauseated as if I'd tried to watch a Steven Seagal movie, namely anything he wrote, produced, and "acted" in. There's only one word I can use to describe "Steven Seagal's Lighting Bolt Asian Experience Energy Drink", "Seagalicious" (which is also a great deal shorter than the actual name) This word got me to thinking, if a song as turdy as "Fergilicious" can get air time, and a drink this bad could get on the shelf at Walmart, maybe I can capitalize on the foolish American consumer, while summing up Steven's entire Wikipedia profile.
I'm Seagalicious (bigamistic)
environmentally conscientious
I be up in the dojo just working on my aikido
direct-to-video (oooh wee)
I knocked up Kelly LeBrock Brock
And they be lining down the block to see me portray another cop (four, tres, two, uno)
[Chorus]
So delicious (I'm hot, hot)
So delicious (I play blues, not rock, rock)
So delicious (auditioned for Time Cop)
I'm Seagalicious (hold hold hold hold hold up, check it out)
I have no idea if this is chocked full of energy, of course, I don't know if shoe polish is either, and I'll likely never find out.
Steven Seagal's Lightning Bolt Asian Experience Energy Drink is highway robbery even at $.89, and would be even still if it included a PSP copy of "Under Siege". Maybe he should try putting Marilyn Munster on the can.
Jason Energy Rating:
1Jason Taste Rating:
1Jason Value Rating:
1Other Steven Seagal's Lightning Bolt Products
Steven Seagal's Lightning Bolt Asian Experience Energy DrinkSteven Seagal's Lightning Bolt Cherry Charge Energy Drink
Steven Seagal's Lightning Bolt Asian Experience Energy Drink Videos and Commercials
Steven Segal Energy Drink Commercial Steven Segal Energy Drink Commercial from Japan Special Thanks to: YouTube user helmsly2010 Added: 2009-10-23 14:37:48 |
Steven Seagal's Lightning Bolt Asian Experience Energy Drink User Comments
spencer johnson on 2010-08-31 15:51:32 said:
Steven Seagal's drink was okay but i have tasted better.
John on 2010-06-30 13:20:21 said:
I only tried Steven Seagal Energy Drink in response to this article. I tried it at home because I didn't want to be seen with the can in public. Really really foul...
Paula on 2010-05-06 15:29:01 said:
I don't understand what the bad reviews are for the Steven Seagal energy drink. My son and I liked it. Edited by Jason: Were either you or your son born with taste buds?
Samera on 2009-10-10 14:47:27 said:
I thought that the Asian one was better than the Cherry, but I still bought both of them. I also think that some people here just don't have any taste buds. I give this drink a 10 rating. I just wish I could buy it at a store. Walmart doesn't care it anymore.
Scissors on 2009-09-18 23:36:53 said:
Why is this drink so hated?? I mean, it's not the best, but I actually kind of like it. It tastes like a mixture between raspberry and green tea, except maybe not as sweet. To me, the drink tastes pretty average, and worth the $1 I payed for it.
Danny F on 2009-04-27 12:48:44 said:
After consuming Steven Seagal's Lightning Bolt Asian Experience Energy Drink I took out a rusty spoon and dug out my taste buds. I then went to the garage and cement glued my nostrils shut. I will NEVER eat, drink, or taste again!
riverboy on 2009-04-14 16:19:37 said:
Some of you guys are over exaggerating. I tried Steven Seagal Energy Drink before reading any reviews on it, and it tasted alright; I drank and finished it just like any other energy drink I've had. It certainly wasn't as bad as some of you make it out to be.
RtWngDwn on 2009-01-08 13:13:43 said:
Steven Seagal's Lightning Bolt Asian Experience is the worst energy drink I ever had. I cracked one open and immediately smelt the strange, and unique aroma. Judging from the smell, I thought that it was going to be below average. Five minutes later, after tasting it, I was dumping it out the car window. I would rather drink dog urine. Sure, its supposedly healthy and all, but come on, it has to be drinkable.
Rusty on 2008-11-03 00:59:09 said:
OK... Cordyceps suppress the immune system
FDA on 2008-11-03 00:59:09 said:
Our FDA scientists are still in therapy. Sorry for unleashing this obscene potable to the public.
DubZ on 2008-10-14 18:09:22 said:
So im wondering, i've had full throttle Mother, and that was the worst f***ing thing i have ever tasted... like 500 giant earthworms ground up in a shake with pepsi and then left in the basement to add a moldy and musky taste. Is this Mother energy drink worse or better than this steven seagal drink? Edited by Jason: As our review indicates, I found Mother to be deplorable, but believe it or not, I finished Mother, I was completely physically unable to finish this "drink".
Ian on 2008-09-12 18:21:44 said:
you guys have to be lying. Steven Seagal lightning bolt is the most delicious thing on the planet. its like the sweet nectar of the earth... i genuinely cant understand how anyone couldn't like it. the only possible explanation is that you guys are hoarding it for yourselves.
Steven (Seagal?) on 2008-08-18 04:47:02 said:
I really can't get the anger at Steven Seagal Energy Drink. I've had worse tasting things for sure. I could name a few things that taste better, but that said it's not all that bad. It works amazing actually, I ended up staying up all night after drinking it and I had it before 12 am. Maybe it's different for some people but it's done its job for me.
Craig and Derek on 2008-08-08 18:00:39 said:
hmm... I'm rather speechless when i try to describe the horrific disgust i experienced when drinking this product. My friend bought this from Wal-Mart and we were amused by the hilarious can art. This liquid vomit was the WORST excuse for an energy drink I've ever had. It took more energy to try to drink this diarrhea juice than the drink gave to me. after 5 people trying this drink, we are left with 3/4 a can still left b/c it is such a torture to consume. anyone who wants to play a hilarious trick on their friends, or kill any animal smaller than a horse, buy this drink. if you want to be able to taste anything for the next 4 days, DO NOT buy this product. later.
Mark on 2008-08-08 17:54:45 said:
I went to Wal-Mart to purchase this energy drink. Fortunately it was only $1. Thank you Wal-Mart for your everyday low prices. Unfortunately, i think i could replace the gas i wasted on my trip to Wal-Mart with this product. In actuality, I think i'd rather drink the gasoline. Steven Seagal's Lightning Bolt Asian Experience had me wanting to be struck by an actual lightning bolt, it was so terrible. I didn't think there could be anything worse than Half Past Dead and Hard To Kill, but i think his energy drink surpassed the level of crappiness. I believe Steven Seagal has come up with the next kind of torture that can be used in his next box-office hit.
Mikey on 2008-05-22 01:17:06 said:
This drink really isn't as bad as everyone makes it out to be. I've had much worse. Full Throttle nature is one bad mother comes to mind.
Eric on 2008-03-26 08:08:33 said:
I'm sorry to say that Steven Seagal is the worst energy drink I've ever had, i had a hard time finishing the whole thing. 1 on taste, energy, and value.
Eric on 2008-03-18 08:00:10 said:
Eric Energy Rating: 1 Eric Taste Rating: 1 Eric Value Rating: 1 I had a hard time swallowing Steven Seagal!
Ryan on 2008-03-11 08:37:52 said:
IDK what all the bashing is about, I guess seagal is a very easy target, and obviously the marketing on this is pretty hilarious. That being said, it's a very good energy drink and anybody who says otherwise is either poking fun for a joke or being serious but following the rest of the crowd who are only trying to make a joke. The drink tastes better than half the energy drinks out there and more importantly it works while being healthy.
della on 2008-03-03 12:47:33 said:
I've only tasted the asian experience and it wasn't any worse than the other energy drinks on the market,plus it does have some very good ingredients in it. I'm sure its healthier than most other drinks, of course if its not packed full of sugar, caffeine and all the other things that are killing america no one wants it.
Blair patterson on 2008-02-26 11:53:30 said:
i believe the Asian Persuasion is the best flavor Seagal has out to that i gave it 10 out of 10. God Bless
Erick on 2008-02-25 09:42:46 said:
I consumed a whole can of Steven Seagal's Lightning Bolt Asian Experience and survived, but just barely. I'll never be whole again. The taste is like prunes mixed with equal parts malice and lethargy. Its like a can of angry, malevolence that is too old to accomplish its full evil intent, and instead simmers in a dark cave of rotting fruit, planning its gruesome revenge.
mat on 2007-12-19 20:16:14 said:
We had office bets to get people to drink it. It tasted like the backside of a cat.
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Disclaimer: The above review is the opinion of the Screaming Energy Drink Reviews editors. Our goal is to help answer questions like, "What does Steven Seagal's Lightning Bolt Asian Experience Energy Drink taste like?", "Does it really give you an energy boost?", "Where can I buy Steven Seagal's Lightning Bolt Asian Experience Energy Drink?", and "How much does it cost?". We are not employed by the makers of this energy drink, and, therefore cannot answer questions about production, distribution, product returns, reimbursements, or quality control. We receive funds from some manufacturers to expedite reviews, and for advertisement only. We do not 'sell' positive reviews. All nuitrition information and ingredients were copied to the best of our ability from the product packaging, do not rely solely on our site for dietary information.
