2010 Screaming Energy Drink Awards


It's nearly Christmas, and instead of presents, I'm focusing all my energy on making sure "The Christmas Shoes" song ceases to take huge fruit-cake-sized-dumps on everyone's otherwise festive Christmas disposition.

Coolest Packaging
Molotov Explosive Energy! Mango con Tapatio
Embittered pubescent offspring of affluent parents can embrace Molotov as the symbol of their constant ivy-league-journalism-major struggle against the oppressive right wing conservatives...when they're not getting high and aborting children to cover up their indiscretions. Honorable mention to the VPX Meltdown series for the "drink regulation gauge".

Best Value
Speed Stack Pumped N.O. Grape
Nearly 300mg of caffeine, if it were any more effective, Oprah would already be off television. 22oz. of delicious grape flavor, only 30 calories for $1.77, if it were any cheaper, they'd have to call it LeAnn Rimes.

Most Original
Mini Chill Relaxation Natural Stress Relief
Someone was paying attention to Michael Jackson's daily cocktail of uppers and downers and realized the American people would soon be clamoring for a $3/bottle relaxation formula to take 12-14 hours after their $3/bottle energy shots.

Most Energy
VPX Meltdown Fat Assault Watermelon
VPX Meltdown energizes like DynaPep or street pharmaceuticals.

Best Energy Shot
DynaPep Energy Micro-Shot Berry
Reformulated, the new berry flavor is the best taste option to-date, and the formula remains ultra-effective.


2010 Screaming Energy Drink Not-So-Awards

Worst Taste
Young Energy Drink
Unbelievably, no "ADX7" energy drink has previously won this illustrious award. It can only be because we started the awards in 2006, and both Yet (Your Energy Tonic) and Jugular were both reviewed in 2005. It would be unscrupulous not to mention Stacker 2 Black Jax for their best efforts at creating ingestable paint thinner, which was also our first video review.

Least Energy
Wat-aah! Energy Oxygenated Water
If we had not reviewed Mini Chill Relaxation Natural Stress Relief, which is a relaxation drink, Wat-aah would be the least energizing product on the site...and it's still a close second.

Gayest Packaging ('Gay' like the television show "Glee")
Sin Vitality Drink Greed Lemon
The branding of this drink is ridiculous. Asinine catch phrases like "Be a part of the next generation" and "Do not miss the after party" appear on the back to support your immediately dismissing this product as purchasable by non-douche bags.

Gayest Packaging ('Gay' like people who watch the television show "Glee")
Mini Thin Triple Strength Xtreme Energy Rush Mango
Put an over-sized pair of glasses and a feather boa on it and you've got Elton John.
Disclaimer: Writers for Screaming Energy are not doctors, and none of this website should be taken as medical advice. All nutritional/product label information about energy drinks and products on this site were copied as accurately as possible, but are subject to error. All information contained in this site should be considered our opinion.