2009 Screaming Energy Drink Awards

There's snow on the ground, I've finished rewrapping all the presents that I didn't like from last year to regift this year, and it's time to see who gets accolades for producing noteworthy (at both ends of the spectrum) energy products in year of 2009 (the year of garbage big name energy shots).

Coolest Packaging
Blood Energy Potion
With twilight inexplicably filling box office coffers, Blood Energy Potion offers the hordes of mindless drones another outlet for parting ways with their money. To the tune of $4/each retail, Blood Energy Potion falls short on value, but scores big points for package originality.

Best Women's Energy Drink
Cougar Energy Shot for Women White
As the only entrant in the category, Cougar Energy Shot for Women White is both the best and the worst energy drink for women of 2009. I tend to lean more toward it being the worst.

Best Value
Power Trip The Extreme
Before Bev Purdue (NC Governor) and our state "representatives" decided the constitution didn't matter, these used to be available in our energy drink store for $0.93/each. Send Bev and the rest of our uninformed/misguided "government officials" an email expressing your disdain for their actions. Don't worry about spamming Bev, but do worry about her spamming you...since she auto-signs you up for her stupid mailing list. Since clearly government works be her informing her subjects how things will be, and not vice-versa.

Most Original
DynaPep Energy Micro-Shot
Around 4ml of intense energy ingredients I can't pronounce. Fortunately, I don't have to be able to pronounce them for them to work (in addition, I don't have to read, write, add or subtract to graduate from high school here in NC, but I think I can get a driver's license without green card or resident address).

Most Energy
DynaPep Energy Micro-Shot
I had so much energy, I contemplated being able to fly by angrily separating myself from the rest of the earth with brute force.

Best Energy Shot
Redfin Energy Shot Wildberry
RedFin proves once and for all, to 5-hour energy consumers (*cough* and manufacturers *cough*) that affective 2oz energy shots don't have to taste like Robitussin and headache powder.

2009 Screaming Energy Drink Not-So-Awards

Worst Taste
NOS Energy Powershot
NOS Energy Powershot fails on every level, taste just happens to be one of them, and from a company that makes a couple of scrumptious energy drinks, it's a pretty epic fail.

Least Energy
World of Warcraft Mountain Dew Game Fuel
Vegas Fuel actually won this award, but I need a place to share with everyone in the energy industry the heads up that I strongly recommend not doing business with YouCast Corp. Based on my experience, they misrepresent their clients, which I'm in the process of explaining to Mountain Dew, and when their promotion is over, they'll ignore any inquiry concerning their commitment/obligation.

Update: After I published this review, I was contacted by YouCast, they reported having sent a package at some point in the past which we didn't receive. They put together a replacement package and delivered it to us promptly, a scant 5 months after our original agreement.

Gayest Packaging ('Gay' like Kanye West at an awards show)
VegasFuel Energy Experience
I can't figure out what anything on this can is supposed to be about. Is that a poker chip? Land of the rising sun? What makes it an "energy experience"? What does any of this have to do with Vegas?

Gayest Packaging ('Gay' like Kanye West any other time)
Cougar Energy Shot for Women White
Women even shy away from this product because of how gay the packaging is.
Disclaimer: Writers for Screaming Energy are not doctors, and none of this website should be taken as medical advice. All nutritional/product label information about energy drinks and products on this site were copied as accurately as possible, but are subject to error. All information contained in this site should be considered our opinion.