2008 Screaming Energy Drink Awards


It's that time of year again, when we all begin thinking about warm fires, holidays with friends and family, and of course, which energy drink has the gayest packaging. Come join us, as we take our annual stroll through the best and worst of what the energy drink market shoved in our faces through this nearly expired year.

Coolest Packaging
Mana Energy Potion
Perhaps in 2004, after the release of the original World of Warcraft, MMORPGs were seen as a social outlet for those of us unable to buy a date. 4 years later, the Wrath of the Lich King sold nearly 3 million copies in 24 hours. That just goes to show, 3 million people can come to terms with not being able to get a date in just 24 hours. Surprisingly an honorable mention for Starbucks doubleshot Energy plus Coffee Vanilla

Best Women's Energy Drink
Go Girl GLO
Previous years have been more forthcoming with energy drinks specifically for the ladies. This year they were sparse, but Go Girl's follow up to their Original Go Girl Energy Drink is nothing short of awesome.

Best Value
Java Monster Coffee Lo-Ball
This award hinges on being able to get them for $1.99, as we were able to at the Concord, NC BP Station. 2008 was not the year of value. We didn't review it, but I do remember getting the Wawa "Mach W" (which is essentially a Red Bull knockoff) for about $1.30 in Delaware.

Most Original
Mana Energy Potion
This was almost a three-way tie. Ultimately, mana potion is just the freshest thing in 2008. Also in the running, and near winning, Matrix Mood Enhancing Energy Drink (unique taste, highly affective in ways other drinks aren't, and the bottle is a nice change of pace from the can) and Hydrive E Lemon Lime Endurance (Tastes like lemon-lime gatorade, non-carbonated, refreshing, energizing, and comes in a bottle).

Most Energy
Matrix Mood Enhancing Energy Drink
It's not giddy-up-go energy, but it keeps you awake while giving you unparalleled levels of focus and mental clarity.

Best Energy Shot
On Go Energy Shot Mandarin Orange
On Go is convenient to transport, tastes much better than energy shots available in 2005, and provides a great deal of energy. Since the time of our review, On Go has made their product far more affordable to consumers through our energy drink store. For those who are new to energy shots, they've been around for years now, but by my estimates, they comprise about 20% of the new energy products for 2008. Don't tell NPR, they think they're cutting edge for reporting about health risks associated with Red Bull.

2008 Screaming Energy Drink Not-So-Awards

Worst Taste
Screamin Energy Shot
2008 was a pretty good flavor year. This drink isn't even in the ballpark with previous worst tasting drinks, in fact, I want to pretend I reviewed Full Throttle Nature is One Bad Mother in 2008, because as putrid as it is, it didn't stand a chance against Steven Seagal's scourge

Least Energy
Coolah Energy
It tastes great! Too bad it's as energizing as an air-guitar-laden cover of any given AC/DC song by Celine Dion.

Gayest Packaging (Gay like UNCG reserving scarce parking for old women to come look at "art" and drink tea)
Power Trip 0 Energy Drink
The drink is awesome, but the can looks like it was pieced together by the Double Dare set designers. Game Juice gets a dishonorable mention, and I think its packaging is a product of the Double Dare Nintendo game box designers.

Gayest Packaging (Gay like "artists" that painted the aforementioned pieces of "art" with their own bodily fluids)
Potencia Bebida de Energia
The can appears to be covered in phalluses.
Disclaimer: Writers for Screaming Energy are not doctors, and none of this website should be taken as medical advice. All nutritional/product label information about energy drinks and products on this site were copied as accurately as possible, but are subject to error. All information contained in this site should be considered our opinion.