2007 Screaming Energy Drink Awards

Coolest Packaging
Rip It Chic
Even with all the negative things I have to say about National Beverage as a company, this packaging is sheer genius. If you had any idea the contemptible things that made residence on the mouth of your soda cans, you too would appreciate the splendor of the mouth cover.

Best Women's Energy Drink
Hype Enlite
Hype Enlite offers a smooth taste, and a soft-core porn can that kids go wild for. Seriously, this is perhaps the best of 2006 and 2007. In case you need help with the math, that's 2 years.

Best Value
Jolt Blue
At $2.99, you may think this is hardly a value, but it weighs in at an enormous 23.5 fl. oz. and contains 220mg of caffeine (that's approx. 3 shots of espresso). The taste is wonderful; it's delightfully carbonated, and comes in a can that was runner-up for best packaging of the year.

Most Original
Bookoo Energy Punch
Energy Punch?!?!?1? The only thing that would make this more original, is if it came with its own serving bowl.

Most Energy
Upshot FRUIT
If you can gag it down, you'll be happy you did. It's loaded with enough caffeine to bring Evil Knievel back from the dead, and kill him again. The taste is unpardonable, but once it's past the hatch, it starts to work immediately. Upshot FRUIT is like an energy Thera-Flu.

2007 Screaming Energy Drink Not-So-Awards

Worst Taste
Steven Seagal's Lightning Bolt Cherry Charge Energy Drink
The only competition for this "award" was its partner in crime, Steven Seagal's Lightning Bolt Asian Experience Energy Drink. Steven Seagal pitched a perfect game in 2007 for making energy drinks that taste like whatever he puts in his hair.

Least Energy
Coca-Cola BlaK
In its defense, this is really just a cola/coffee beverage, incorrectly shelved with the energy drinks at the Quikie Mart. Since I wasted $1.49 on this error, I feel I need to extract some level of revenge. Take that Coca-Cola.

Gayest Packaging (Not like "I long for relations with same sex partners" gay)
Frigid Dog Energy Sensation Drink
When I first saw this can, I thought it might be a malt liquor. The dogs look almost friendly, and the motivational text make several dog related jokes that just aren't fetching.

Gayest Packaging (Gay like "I often visited the stairwell at Studio 54")
Go Juice Energy Turbo-Charged Energy Drink
With bright colors, and silhouettes of men exercising, this can is about 2 Quaaludes short of a pair of chaps, a Qiana open-chested shirt, and "public relations".
Disclaimer: Writers for Screaming Energy are not doctors, and none of this website should be taken as medical advice. All nutritional/product label information about energy drinks and products on this site were copied as accurately as possible, but are subject to error. All information contained in this site should be considered our opinion.